Village Filipinas TAKE OVER Foreign Guy’s House!

The minute I left on my business trip, village Filipinas TOOK OVER the castle! I got grandma chopping poop in the driveway, kids eating raw sardines and stinky fish, and salon activities on my couch. The Filipinas even seem to be running some sort of daycare for stray dogs and single moms?

When the cat’s away, the mice will play.

Fatima sent me a photo of her mother sitting next to a large pile of cow poop. There are two problems. Number one, her pile of cow poop is in the middle of my driveway and under the carport! Number two, grandma is using my coconut chopper AND my NEW carrot chopper for the job. She borrowed these important kitchen utensils from my cooking table. I’ve observed that grandma is not wearing safety glasses. She might sustain an eye injury if not careful. Her project is also DANGER CLOSE to my cooking table!

I call this phenomenon “The Tilapia Pond Effect”. Long story short is that the minute the foreign guy leaves, the swimming pool gets turned into a Tilapia pond (true story).

Ya’ll see the stress I’m under here, my friends? Want to marry a girl from the village? Be ready for village shit to go down at any time.