I needed a new backpack and went on the hunt over at Greenbelt Mall in Makati, Philippines. The Timbuk2 Authority caught my eye and after some research, I pulled the trigger. I bought it at a store called The Brat Pack. Thanks goes out to my sales lady Kathleen for helping me with the purchase. I’ll also explain why Helen (Girlfriend #1) got pissed off during our shopping excursion.
Folks, we have a winner! I was about to leave Thailand when I got apprehended by my new friend, Greg. He tracked me to the Hooters across from Nana Plaza and claimed the GRAND PRIZE of an UNOPENED, slightly dented, box of 12 Trojan condoms. Thanks goes out to Crazy Mike. He offered up the gift as his contribution to my public service campaign of promoting safe sex when partying like a rock star.
Hey, listen. If you sleep with strange women (or men) that you met up in a club, sooner or later, your ass is going to catch the CLAP. You can catch everything else as well, but the quickest, most probable thing is Chalamydia.
Men, want to experience pain during urination that feels like someone is pulling a strand of barbed wire about a mile long out of your penis? Want to piss cottage cheese? I don’t think you do. Make sure you have condoms on hand and actually USE them when partying. Want to pay a chick you barely know all of your money for 18 years due to a child support order? Another good reason to practice safe sex. Damn, I hate the word “safe”. Let me go back old school and keep it real. WEAR A FUCKING RUBBER! That’s my contribution of the day to your future, your health, and your sanity.
Join me and my lovely Thai tour guide as we check out the Neon Market in Bangkok. It’s a short tuk-tuk ride from Nana Plaza. We’ll also take you on a walking tour over to look at some Christmas decorations. Thanks goes out to Mo for showing me around this evening.
Here’s a hawk’s-eye view of a fried chicken cart on the streets of Bangkok, Thailand. I was drinking a cold beer at the bar next to the entrance of Nana Plaza. According to my friend, this fried chicken cart is only on station on Mondays for some reason. They are there until they sell all of their stock. It’s a popular little cart, so if you want some damn good fried chicken, you better go early.
Join me while I eat lunch at Hooters and do some people watching across from Nana Plaza. I’ll also discuss what to do if you encounter a group of ladyboys late at night on the street.
You may have seen this restaurant before on Bizarre Foods. I ate lunch today at Cabbages and Condoms Restaurant in Bangkok, Thailand. Here’s a look around the place. At the end of the video, I’ll reveal Crazy Mike’s secret giveaway.
If you come to Thailand, make sure you try the Roti. I like mine with egg, banana, and chocolate on top!
Join me and Crazy Mike for a tuk-tuk ride through the streets of Bangkok. We departed the Sky Bar (Lebua at State Tower) and headed over to Nana Plaza.
Me and Crazy Mike had a few drinks at the Sky Bar, located on the 64th floor of the Lebua State Tower. This is where the scene from the movie Hangover II was filmed. I actually stayed at this hotel back in 2008 or 2009 with my American 2nd or 3rd wife. Can’t remember.
Here’s a look at The Mexican Restaurant in Bangkok. The food is ON TIME! If you’re staying near Nana Plaza, be sure to check this place out. The Poblano Escobar is ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS.
Join me as I people watch and drink beer. I’ll take a long, drawn out time to explain to you the first step in becoming an expat or world traveler.
Here’s a look around my room at the Nana Hotel in Bangkok. I recommend this place. It’s located across the Soi from Nana Plaza. The check-in and entrance is behind the Hooters. The walk-in rate is 1,690 Thai baht (about $52 USD). I booked my first nights on agoda and the rate was about the same.
Many of the rooms have recently been renovated and are good to go. The pool area is nice but it closes at 7 P.M. every night. The staff are EXCELLENT. Many of the staff have been working at the Nana Hotel for decades. The ladies told me that the hotel opened in 1964 or 1963 (can’t remember) and there’s a picture on the wall behind the check-in you can take a look at. Plenty of towels, GREAT water pressure and HOT water in the shower.
The only thing they need to improve on is the WiFi. It’s adequate, but frequently boots you off and is a bit of a pain.
It’s the best place to stay near Nana Plaza due to the overall experience being wonderful. The standard room rate comes with two free breakfasts. It’s a buffet-style breakfast that is ON TIME! Great way to wake up after a night of partying.
Up front, the article below is about issues. It’s not a travel guide. My perspective might piss you off. I originally posted this article on August 29, 2015. I’m moving it up to the top of the list since I just made another visit to the elephant village here in Thailand.
I live in Thailand. The other day I took my girlfriend to ride an elephant at Pattaya Elephant Village. The whole time I just couldn’t stop thinking about all of the negative articles and reviews citing why it’s “unethical” to ride elephants in Thailand. I decided it was time to even out the argument.
First of all, what the hell does “ethical” actually mean? In my opinion, the following paragraph sums it up the best:
Ethics and morals relate to “right” and “wrong” conduct. While they are sometimes used interchangeably, they are different: ethics refer to rules provided by an external source, e.g., codes of conduct in workplaces or principles in religions. Morals refer to an individual’s own principles regarding right and wrong. – www.diffen.com
Ethics are the principles of institutions. People who constantly quote ethics are followers. They’re weak minded and desperately need others to tell them what do to. They always go along with the crowd.
Morals are your own principles. People who rely more upon their own morals over ethics are stronger and can think independently. They are the renegades, cowboys, and leaders.
So, exactly what institution is asserting that it’s “unethical” to ride an elephant? Is it PETA that the authors of these articles are relying on? If it’s PETA, that’s comical. Because unless the anti-elephant-riding authors are vegetarians, PETA finds them “unethical” as well. The irony. Are the writers relying on what the Save the Elephants Foundation says? Save the Whales? Exactly who is the official in charge of elephant ethics?
Or, are the writers relying on their own morals based off of personal experience in dealing with elephants? If that’s the case, then I obviously have a certain level of respect for their arguments.
Those quoting ethics? I have no respect for them. People on review sites asking, “Is it ethical to ride elephants?” just disgust me.
Really? You’ve got to ask the general public about how you should live your life?
Right and Wrong
What does “right” and “wrong” mean? Those terms are nothing more than a person’s opinion, and we all know that opinions vary. Vegetarians think it’s “wrong” to eat meat. I think it’s “wrong” to eat meat without properly marinating it first.
Back to the elephants…
The Ugly Side of Riding Elephants
Some issues people bring up concerning the treatment of elephants are the breaking and training methods. Ok, you’ve got me there. I’ve seen the videos of how elephants are broken. They are terrible and heart breaking to watch. Go to YouTube and do a little research on your own.
I concede that this is a problem. There are other ways to train elephants without tying them down with ropes for three days and beating the shit out of them. Zoos around the world have learned to train elephants without having to resort to absolute torture. Some of these less-than-ruthless ways could be adopted by the elephant tourism industry. I’m all for it. It will take time to change culture, though. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
We know elephants are often tied to a stake with a chain. But, would you prefer to tie a big-ass animal to a stake with a shoe string? That’s not practical. You restrain a dog with a leash. A chain is nothing more than a big leash. Chains get a bad rap because they were used to enslave humans and have a negative aura about them. But, tying a chain around an elephant’s ankle is the same as putting a collar and a leash on a dog.
But hey, they also use those sickle-looking things to control them. That’s cruel!
An elephant is massive. How else are you going to ensure that you have some type of pain-compliance control over it if it gets out of line?
What’s the Difference?
A horse is controlled by putting a metal bit in its mouth that causes pain when you pull on the reins. Where’s the outcry from travel writers? Do we really think that a horse truly wants to have someone riding it or racing it around in circles at the track? Probably not if the horse tells you the truth. Don’t want to hurt the horse? Ride it with just a halter and a rope. It might work with an old gentle mare, but I don’t recommend you trying it with a young stud horse. That damn horse will take you wherever he wants to go. You pulling on that rope ain’t going to stop him. You have to use pain compliance with the bit in his mouth. Is it cruelty or a necessity?
How do you train a dog? Most people put a slip chain around its neck and choke the poor thing until it goes in the direction they want it to go. Or, they put a shock collar on Old Yeller to train him on the invisible fence concept. Many dogs in America spend 12 hours a day confined to a “training crate” (a cage / jail cell) at the apartment while their owner goes to work. They get fifteen solid minutes a day of sniffing around a tiny patch of grass, while their owner chides them into hurrying a poop so he or she can get to the gym. Humane? Where are the travel writers?
Cats? Well, not sure about training house cats. They pretty much just lay around, put their bare asses all over your things and stink up the place. No need for travel writers to comment on cats I guess.
Cows? They get the piss shocked out of them with an electrical cattle prod. But, that’s not to train them. That’s just to control and herd them until we can turn them into hamburgers. Cows don’t have the luxury of living fifty years like elephants do. The second they’re born, they’re given a death sentence. As soon as they grow up, they’re dead. No appeal. Where are all the travel writers who know everything? No love for the pretty, furry cows?
Where are the articles encouraging travelers not to eat hamburgers in the United States because of the mass murder of defenseless cows? Oh, wait. That would probably conflict with the food section of their blog and that beautiful picture of a five-pound hamburger they recently gorged themselves on.
Watch some YouTube videos of cows getting slaughtered in America. They are far more violent and disturbing than watching an elephant being broken. I’ll bet you five bucks an American cow would trade places with an elephant in Thailand, in a heartbeat.
Pigs? Same as cows. They grow up and then get shuffled to the slaughterhouse. There are not many travel writers out there trying to raise awareness about the plight of a pig. Hell no. Barbecue is one of the best food topics to blog about.
The Lesser of Two Evils
Ever been to a rodeo? You think that a bull likes having a rope tied around his balls to make him jump and buck? Hell no. But, eight seconds of temporary discomfort keeps him from becoming ground beef. Enough said.
A Bit of Naivety
Most travel blogs pump out feel-good articles. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s why we read them. The problem is that a lot of the material is sugar coated. The writers are often naive to reality and especially, the big picture. It’s not their fault, though. Many are just young adults, very inspirational, and easily swayed. They still think they can save the world. They’re doing their part to raise awareness. Good on them. There was a time when I believed.
Their arguments often remind me of when a contestant in a beauty pageant utters the words, “World Peace”. You know what I’m talking about.
The Importance of Elephant Tourism. How it Protects Them.
If you’re living in the U.S., there are elephants on display at nearly every zoo. When was the last time you packed up your family and friends and went there for the sole purpose of looking at elephants? Probably not never. I’d say most people love elephants, but they won’t spend much or any of their hard-earned money just to go view them from afar.
How many tourists travel to another country and the first thing they want to do is go see some elephants at the local zoo? None. People travel to Africa to see elephants in the wild. They travel to Thailand to see elephants up close.
So, what makes elephants so special and popular in Thailand? It’s because you can actually ride them and interact with them. You can feed them bananas. You can watch them play football and throw darts. You can buy a portrait that was painted by an elephant. That’s the key difference. Nobody gives a damn about watching elephants eat in their man-made habitat of concrete (the zoo), that smells like the inside of a baboon’s ass most of the time. That doesn’t get people interested. It doesn’t make for a good travel photo. It’s boring. Half the time you have to use binoculars to see the damn things.
Who’s Paying the Bills?
Do you think that the price of your ticket to the local zoo takes care of the elephants there? No. It doesn’t. Most zoos are subsidized by the taxpayers in some way. Guess what? Southeast Asia isn’t the United States. Other countries in the world don’t just steal more money from the taxpayers and run up the national debt for every issue. Here, you actually have to pay your bills. It’s cash and carry.
So, who pays to take care of all these elephants? The tourists!
It’s not the Save the Elephants Foundation, PETA, or any other feel-good organization. The money from tourism pays for food, shelter, water, vet care, meds, etc. for a lot of elephants. It’s a business. Is there profit involved? Absolutely. But as a side effect, caring for the elephants is a necessity. It’s an operating expense. It’s a line item that can’t be erased.
What would happen if tourists stop riding elephants? The answer? There would be no money to feed the elephants and no money to pay people to care for them. If this occurred, who would step in and shell out the funds needed to keep the places in operation? Travel writers? I don’t think so. Save the Elephants Foundation? If they had the funding to take care of every elephant in Thailand they’d be doing it right now, wouldn’t they?
Somebody come up with a valid alternative and tell me where the money would come from. Don’t worry, I’ll wait…
If you can show me the money, I’ll agree that we all need to stop riding elephants. There. I’m not too proud to give in when someone comes up with a better idea. Somebody write a check. Put your money where your mouth is. Change the world. Give Bill Gates a call and see if he’s interested.
Raising awareness? That’s not tangible. It’s something people do online with their friends while sitting at Starbucks, to make themselves feel good. Fuck that. Show me the money. Show me the money that will take care of the elephants if tourists stop riding them.
Or, just come adopt one of these beautiful animals and take it home with you. Let me know how that works out.
The Human Factor
How many local Thais would be out of a job if tourists stop riding elephants? No one gives a shit about that aspect. Activists recklessly advocate ideas without stopping to think about how it affects people. Especially, how does your idea affect children? A lot of Thais are able to feed their children because of elephant tourism. What about them?
Animal rights activists always amaze me. They will go to jail protesting people eating shark fin soup but they won’t give a dime to starving children in developing nations.
Few people from the U.S. have actually felt the pain of hunger. They don’t understand what it means to survive. You don’t get an unemployment check or food stamps over here if you’re poor. If you work, you can eat. So, when I read a negative article by some asshole who wants to “raise awareness”, I purposely look to see if they say anything about the children of those involved in the industry. Nope. Just save the poor mistreated elephants from the mean old tourists. Nobody gives a damn about poor little brown children who don’t speak English and have little to eat. Selfish bastards.
Minding One’s Own Business
Reality. That’s where we all need to venture every once in a while. Riding elephants is part of the Thai culture. It’s a huge draw for tourism. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time that travel writers from America focus on raising awareness for problems in America. Trust me, there’s enough fucked-up things there to worry about instead of sticking your nose in somebody else’s business–in someone else’s country. Hell, two reporters just got shot and killed in Virginia during a live broadcast about tourism. There’s an issue to write about. Americans are killing each other at such a fast pace that you no longer have to wait for someone to post the video on YouTube. They’re bringing it straight to you on live tv.
Elephants make money from tourists. Therefore, they are protected. Think about it. A sick elephant cannot make money. A dead elephant cannot make money. A healthy elephant can ride tourists around and make money. It is in the owner’s best interest to take care of the animals. Constant abuse? How is that profitable? Constantly abusing an elephant makes for a pissed off elephant. We just saw what happened to a pissed-off elephant up in Chiang Mai. He killed the handler and ran off into the woods with three scared Chinese tourists aboard. Not good for public relations. It doesn’t benefit anyone to “constantly abuse” an elephant because it’s going to stay mad and cause problems. Not good for business.
Visit “Elephant Sanctuaries” or “Parks” Instead?
Is there a difference? An “Elephant Sanctuary” is just a name. An “Elephant Park” is just a name. An “Elephant Camp” is just a name. They are vying for tourist dollars just like every other place that has elephants. How do some push tourists their way? Publicize all the negative things about their competitors, show tourists scary YouTube videos, and claim that their facility is elephant friendly, eco-friendly, non-profit, etc. Hey, it’s a dog-eat-dog world. It’s easy to convince a travel writer who’s just passing through that riding elephants is evil but visiting our “sanctuary” is ok. Just use words like “sustainable” or “green” and “positive reinforcement”. They use things like that, which basically mean nothing, to impress Western tourists. These places are in the business to make money, too. Don’t let them fool you and don’t fool yourself. I’m not saying to avoid any one park or camp in particular. Obviously, some are better than others. Just don’t get caught up in what the place is called. Visit several and see if there’s really a difference. One place I like is Pattaya Elephant Village.
Think about it from an elephant’s perspective…
Hello, my name is Chang. Would I rather live in Africa or live in Thailand? Hmmm… Let me see… Poachers kill around 35,000 elephants every year in Africa. Dead. I can take my chances there roaming free or stay here in Thailand and live a long life. Sure, I have to ride Chinese tourists around in the heat but they don’t weigh too much. My back hurts a bit but I do get to eat a shit-ton of bananas every day. I love bananas. I get food, vet care, and I don’t have to worry about my ass getting shot. Yep, I’m glad to be in Thailand. Plus, I don’t even have to work every day. During the rainy season, I get a lot of days off because the tourists don’t want to get wet. There are several holidays, too. So, I’m not working 365 days a year. It’s not exactly a cake walk, but it’s better than being hunted by some psychotic businessman, doctor, or dentist from the U.S. who’s got a seriously tiny dick and wants to shoot me with a cross bow in the middle of the night. Just look at what happened to old Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe. His ass was wearing a GPS tracker and he lived on a damn sanctuary! Fuck that. I don’t want my head hanging on a wall in some asshole’s man cave. I love Thailand. All you travel writers, please stop writing this negative bullshit. I don’t want to get laid off and find myself on a slow boat to Kenya or alone in the Thai jungle. I might accidentally wander into Cambodia because I can’t read a map. There’s a shit ton of landmines still in place in Cambodia. I could get my leg blown off. Hey, gotta run. I smell bananas!
A Working Elephant is Safe in Thailand
So-called “sanctuaries” or national parks in Africa supposedly protect the elephants there. They have people patrolling with guns, drones, sensors, etc., and around 35,000 elephants still get killed each year. Are they really safe? I don’t think so.
Now, just try to come over here to Thailand and steal or poach one damn elephant from the tourism industry. Just one. See how far you get. I don’t recommend it. That’s taking money from someone’s wallet.
Shoot one of these elephants with a cross bow and see what happens to your ass. If you live until the police arrive, you’ll be lucky. Then be prepared to spend some time in Klong Prem prison.
Working elephants here in Thailand are inherently safe because of tourism. Ponder that shit for a minute.
Ride Elephants in Thailand. Take Pictures. Enjoy Yourself.
Come to Thailand. Go ride elephants. Feed them bananas. Take a lot of pictures and have a good time. You will never forget the experience. You’ll have a new-found love and respect for elephants. You will find yourself concerned about their survival. It’s not the same as seeing them at a zoo in America, I promise you. If you ride one you will become involved.
Voice Your Opinion
When you get home, thoroughly think about the issue and what you observed. Formulate your own opinion. Make sure you consider the big picture and not just what you’ve read on travel blogs. Don’t be afraid to go against political correctness and don’t allow others to decide what’s “ethical” for you.
Decide on what’s more evil: Letting elephants roam free in a world full of poachers until they’re extinct, or putting them through a bit of harsh training and making them work every day in exchange for protection and security.
Similarly, would you rather be a cow in America or an elephant in Thailand?
Make some decisions here.
Me and my buddy planned out a nice, romantic, quiet evening at the beach for our ladies. Just the five of us. We envisioned some serious conversation about the mysteries of life while the ladies chatted about chick stuff…
They say a plan never survives first contact. Our plan didn’t last one whole minute.
Join us on this little beach adventure featuring roof dogs, warm beer, sleeping in a submarine, good friends, and yellow fin tuna for breakfast. I’ll explain in depth about some cultural differences you need to expect if you’ve never been to the Philippines, but plan on dating a Filipina.
We stayed at the Kangaroo Beach Resort in Gonzaga, Cagayan, in the northern part of Luzon.
The folks down at the U.S. consulate in Cebu City get an A-Plus rating from this expat and world traveler. I had to get a document notarized and it was a very pleasant experience. The only thing that needs to be improved is the initial check-in process, which can easily be fixed by simply establishing a proper queue. Other than that, everything was PERFECT. Mr. Glenn offered personalized service to everyone in the waiting area and I want to thank him for that.
The U.S. consulate is located in the Waterfront Cebu City Hotel and Casino, on Salinas Drive Lahug.
Sometimes life deals you a shitty hand…and you’re dumb enough to play it.
Were we about to get taken by the jet ski scam? You decide. Maybe the guy was legit, but I recommend you DO NOT take the chance. If you come to Southeast Asia, be VERY CAREFUL about who you rent a jet ski from.
If your hotel or resort arranges the rental, you’re probably ok. If some nice gentlemen on the beach are renting jet skis and stick a detailed contract in your face, don’t sign it and walk away. My personal advice is that you do not rent any jet ski in Southeast Asia.
Drop me a comment below if you’ve been taken by the jet ski scam, OR, if you know legit folks in the business who you can recommend to other travelers.
WARNING: GRAPHIC VIDEO. This video depicts animal slaughter in raw, uncut, UNCENSORED footage. It is meant for educational purposes in several different ways. Content will cover the techniques used to slaughter and barbecue pigs in the Philippines, along with philosophy and debate over how that delicious, smoked meat gets to your plate. This video will piss off many people, upset more, make some of you cry, and stir up the keyboard activists over at PETA. WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT. GRAPHIC LANGUAGE. VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED…
Now that I’ve got the damn legal disclaimer out of the way to warn the ladies and the weak-ass males of America, let’s get back to the real description for real men:
Me and the ladies took a trip to my buddy’s pig farm in the northern part of Luzon. Here’s a look at our barbecue adventure. Get ready to kidnap a pig, sing videoke, party like rock stars, get drunk, ride a rice tractor, discuss the degradation of the American male, and learn exactly where your meat comes from. VIEWER DISCRETION for ladies and children is advised. Any man who can’t stomach this video is a pussy. Attention PETA: You’re invited to tune in as well. Starbucks keyboard activists and warriors? You’re invited to leave your wisdom and knowledge as long as you can say the words, “World Peace” with a straight face. I want to hear you say that useless shit for the KING’s amusement. GET READY for some authentic content, my friends. Anthony Bourdain ain’t got shit on this little travel show.
The YouTube Team has age restricted this video so make sure you are signed in and over the age of 18. I’m not in total agreement with their decision, but it proves several of the key points I make in this episode. Res ipsa loquitur (the thing speaks for itself). Thanks YouTube, for validating my arguments, even before this video airs. I would have lost some credibility had you NOT age restricted it. Trap set. Bait taken.
If you try to get a document notarized at a U.S. embassy, they will charge you fifty bucks per page. Absolute robbery. DJT, change that, my brother. #Trump
The KING, Crazy Mike, and the ladies are taking a little boat trip out to a small island for some sunset photos.
Me and the ladies took a trip up to the northern part of Luzon, here in the Philippines. It was a beautiful bus ride through the mountains. We stayed at my buddy’s pig farm and had an epic barbecue. Stay tuned for the next videos that will feature slaughtering and barbecuing hogs, Filipino style.
Folks, I’m changing the title of this video because the point passed by some folks like a meteor on fire. Yes, it’s a drunken rant. It started when an individual posted a baseless comment encouraging folks to call the authorities and report false information about the King and Crew.
In the U.S., this is called False Report of a Crime. Apparently, here on the Internet it’s called getting SWATTED. Folks get away with this all too often and aren’t held accountable due to the perceived anonymity of the Internet. Anyway, it pissed me off. Not because the dude/chick did it to me, but because they probably do it to hundreds of other folks who do get frightened by the threats. The only way to combat it is to expose these cowardly dogs.
Folks around the world are committing suicide over Cyberbullying and online harassment. https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/what-is-it/index.html
So anyway, I decided to lean into these fools. Don’t take this shit too serious.
I stumbled into my new favorite beer-drinking hangout in Angeles City, Philippines. It’s called CPI Call Shop and Business Center. It’s next to Hotel Euroasia.
They have four craft beers on draft, homemade yogurt, fresh ground coffee from the Philippines, bagels & cream cheese, and sandwiches.
You can make phone calls, get on some fast WiFi, print documents, and handle business while you drink beer.
My friend, If you’re down on your luck and feel like life has backed you into a corner, let me help you. I want to talk to you. Give me two hours of your time and let’s share a beer together. If this talk doesn’t help you, please seek professional help at your nearest medical facility. Here is a number you can call if you’re in the United States: 1-800-273-8255. You can also visit this website for more information: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
For my subscribers: This video is about a serious topic and it may not possess the entertainment value you’re looking for and have become accustomed to seeing on my channel. However, one of the reasons I write and post videos is so that the younger generation can learn from my mistakes, philosophy, and experiences.
This video is intended to invoke thought in anyone who’s down on their luck, and provide them with some hope and reason to persevere and carry on. I’ll run it as a PREMIERE so that I can LIVE CHAT with everyone. Got a buddy who just caught his wife or girlfriend cheating? Have him tune in. Know someone who is headed toward bankruptcy? Send him the link.
The video is geared toward men, but the philosophy applies equally to the ladies as well.
Anthony Bourdain fans: I’m going to talk about why Anthony Bourdain wins the ASSHOLE OF THE CENTURY AWARD for hanging himself with that damn bath robe. I loved the guy as well, right up until he pulled that shit in France and traumatized dozens of innocent people with his last act. If I decide to stop cursing, I will just use “Bourdain” in place of the word “asshole”. Don’t be a Bourdain.
I look forward to reading the comments on this serious topic.
Here’s a quick tour of my room here at Score Birds Hotel. It’s the economy room which I booked on Agoda for $31 USD per night.
This hotel is on time, my friends.
The WiFi is excellent if you need to get some work done. Tell them Marcos sent you.
Book on Agoda They have a pool party and bikini contest every Saturday from 2 PM to 6 PM.
Me and the ladies went over to Marquee Mall to extend my damn tourist visa. The first extension is for an additional 29 days and costs 3,030 PHP which is roughly $60 USD. The process was too easy. If you’re traveling to points north of Manila, I recommend you stop in Angeles to do any type of visa renewal.
I took my ladies down to the local market here in Angeles City, Philippines, for some shopping and sight seeing. I think they call the area Freelance Park, but since I’m the King, I renamed the place “Rodeo Drive”.
The ladies have been working hard helping out with the channel so I rewarded them with some cold, hard, cash to spend. Each lady was issued 300 pesos ($6 USD) due to the King’s generosity and caring. I then took them to dinner at Margarita Station.
There’s nothing like rolling deuces, my friends. Life is short, so get to living it.
BIG SHOUT OUT to John Tiger. He recognized us on the street and stopped by to say hello. Too cool, my friend. It was a pleasure to meet you.
WARNING: This episode of Overstay Road contains ADULT LANGUAGE, ADULT CONTENT, an overabundant use of the word “FUCK”, rowdy behavior, and is for ADULTS ONLY.
I’ve age restricted the video. If your kids watch this, it’s your own damn fault and not mine. If YOU watch this video and get offended, it’s your own damn fault and not mine. If any man gets offended by this video, you’re a pussy, by the way. If you are offended by any of these words DO NOT view this video: Hooker, Pussy, Tits, Ass, Motherfucker, Son of a Bitch, Herpes, Jacking Your Dick, Dick, Cock, Balls, Nuts, Ho, Ho’s, Bitches, Bitch. You’ve been properly warned now, according to my lawyers and the drunk priest I spoke to. #MeTooTitties If you’re sitting in your easy chair with Old Blue beside you, watching midget porn and worrying about how you’re gonna pay child support for the month, roll with the King for a few hours. Crank up the volume and get ready for a smack in the face. Get you a Jack and Coke with a lime. Fire up a big cigar and puff on that bad boy like the devil himself. If you’re married and your wife is there, tell her to bring you a bologna sandwich and some sour cream and onion chips. Let her know that you are not to be disturbed during this video. I’d like for somebody to explain to me what the hell this #MeToo shit is all about. Somebody told me you can’t talk to bitches in the U.S. anymore and that if you try to run some game, you’ll be accused of sexual harassment 28 years later and get sued by the #MeToo Mafia? WTF? #Feminism #Women #Bitches #Mafia #Hollywood What the hell is going on over there? Has everyone lost their damn minds? How in the hell are you supposed to meet a chick these days? Send pussy-ass emojis back and forth on Facebook until the wedding night? That must be how you do it in the States. Sad.
I’ll explain the purpose of the napkin wrapped around your San Miguel Pale Pilsen.
A quick discussion on why a man can’t watch a bikini contest and smoke a cigar like the devil in the peace and quiet of his own living room. #marriage #divorce #cigar #devil #metoo
I need to have a heart to heart talk with you about compassion. Let me tell you the whole story about how my $28 per month beach condo and the lack of compassion in today’s society have turned me into America’s Most Wanted. I’ll watch it with you via the YouTube Premiere Feature and respond to comments in LIVE CHAT.
Folks, I know the live stream video quality at the Bikini Contest last Saturday was not good. Give me a few minutes to explain what went wrong with the technical side of the live broadcast.
I also want to give a shout to all of my friends who sent that SuperChat money! Holy shit. Thanks goes out to Vitrix1130, Erin Schoen, Sheidelberg, John Kevin, Cookie Monster, crypto X88, Adam C, hotrod01, Benny Thamac, Derrick F, and Ken Hourihan.
Sorry I didn’t thank everyone during the stream. I couldn’t keep up with all the traffic. The next live stream, my wife’s job will be to write down everyone’s name and give me notification real time of any SuperChat Beer Money received. She’ll be the producer of the show and my girlfriend will assist with the videography. That way, I’ll be able to thank everyone in real time. Hey, learning this stuff as I go, my friends.
Special thanks goes out to President Trump for tuning into the bikini contest! I certainly appreciate the Tweet as well. There’s nothing like hanging out with DJT, my friends.
Thanks to my subscribers, Patrons, Trolls, Parrotts, and Haters, I have moved on up to a DELUXE apartment in the sky! Join me while I broadcast LIVE from a pool party and Bikini contest here at my new accommodations!
Let me show you around one of my favorite little hotels in Angeles City. I’ll explain the importance of keeping the buckets in the CR filled up with water.
All the Haters, Trolls, Parrotts, Psychics, Angry Feminists, & Spineless Males from America are 100% convinced that I beat my poor, poor, wife here in the Philippines. Let me clear up a few things for you sad, sad, individuals in the West.
I’ll discuss my secret agent Timex watch and the conspiracy theories circulating around the Internet. I’ll also give you a bird’s eye view from my private jet of two beautiful, tropical islands I thought about buying.
This hotel is new, clean, modern, and has FAST WiFi. I booked a room on Agoda for $9 USD per night and had a great stay. The deal came with two free breakfasts!
This department store in Cebu City burned down several months ago. Here’s a look at demolition techniques in the Philippines.
Let me show you one of the BEST places to eat in Cebu City, Philippines. The Red Lizard Tacos & Burritos has some excellent food and ice cold Corona Beer. It’s a hidden gem on the top floor of Ayala Mall.
This comment had me laughing for an hour. Apparently, some of you think that my beach condo is a “shit pit”, “a dump”, and that I’m “more primitive than a cave man”. Lol…
It’s hard to run a YouTube channel off the Internet from your cell phone. It took me three days to upload one video.
The dish I made for the picnic at the beach looked delicious, but the pork fat ruined it for me.
I made some pork and we had a nice picnic on the beach while the sun set. It’s only a two-minute walk from our condo.
Had to ride in my limo down to Bogo City to hit the ATM machine. Take a ride with me through the countryside, here in the Philippines.
My Filipina wife wanted to go to Barangay night because there was a rumor about free food. I got hooked on a card game and almost lost my ass.
Watch my Filipina wife demonstrate how to clean and prepare a fish with five slices of the blade. She fried this fish up in no time and it was absolutely delicious.
Drink a beer with me while I discuss my all-natural cigar, once again.
Here’s a look at the barber shop I go to. A haircut and shave is 60 Pesos which is about $1.11 USD. I fell asleep in the damn barber’s chair.
Just a quick good morning to all of my subscribers.
I made some pork stir fry for my Filipina and her family tonight. I thought it turned out to be delicious, but everyone else rated it only a GOOD. That’s twice now I’ve received an AVERAGE ONLY review on my cooking!!! They say it needs more salt.