We have a WINNER of the Crazy Mike Condom Giveaway Contest!
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We have a WINNER of the Crazy Mike Condom Giveaway Contest!

Folks, we have a winner! I was about to leave Thailand when I got apprehended by my new friend, Greg. He tracked me to the Hooters across from Nana Plaza and claimed the GRAND PRIZE of an UNOPENED, slightly dented, box of 12 Trojan condoms. Thanks goes out to Crazy Mike. He offered up the gift as his contribution to my public service campaign of promoting safe sex when partying like a rock star.

Hey, listen. If you sleep with strange women (or men) that you met up in a club, sooner or later, your ass is going to catch the CLAP. You can catch everything else as well, but the quickest, most probable thing is Chalamydia.

Men, want to experience pain during urination that feels like someone is pulling a strand of barbed wire about a mile long out of your penis? Want to piss cottage cheese? I don’t think you do. Make sure you have condoms on hand and actually USE them when partying. Want to pay a chick you barely know all of your money for 18 years due to a child support order? Another good reason to practice safe sex. Damn, I hate the word “safe”. Let me go back old school and keep it real. WEAR A FUCKING RUBBER! That’s my contribution of the day to your future, your health, and your sanity.

  • John January 2, 2019, 2:23 am

    Marcos I’m in AC right now! I am requesting an audience with the King. I hope one of your interns passed this message to you.

  • Mark Blackard January 3, 2019, 12:13 am

    Hey John,

    I’ll probably be at CPI Call Shop later this afternoon around 3 or 4. It’s at the Hotel EuroAsia. They’ve got 4 craft beers on draft. Come on over and hang out.